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Pretty Little Liars 3x01 review

Pretty Little Liars 3x01

I’m kinda losing my mind. Why is this the best show on TV?

So, the season begins five months later after the reveal of A. Summer is almost over and senior year is about to begin.

How did everyone spend their summer?

Spencer was at Hollis College taking a full load of classes. (It’s like if Hermione Granger never got her letter to Hogwarts, and instead moved to the US!)

Hanna had a ‘list.’ She and Caleb took cooking classes. And she learned bigger words! She wants to be able to have a “proper” conversation with Spencer! WOOT!

Aria was taking a photography class.

And Emily was in Haiti rebuilding the shattered island/county.

Sounds peachy. So you know they’re all hiding what they REALLY did. WTG ladies, keep those secrets from your besties. ALWAYS turns out well.

So, this episode paralleled the hell out of the pilot. I LOVE IT WHEN YOU DO THAT!

The episode begins with a zoom up of the barn. At Casa Hastings. And our first scene of our Liars is at the forever sleepover at Spencer’s, where her parents no exist.

They’re drinking, kinda like “that night.” Except Emily is pilling on the alcohol. Hey, boozy! I suggest a game of spin the bottom, wherein you and Spencer make out? Yes? :D Anyone….?

Spencer makes a toast to them all making it to senior year. Cheers. But Emily doesn’t join. Because “not everyone.” Spencer immediately says sorry, she didn’t mean it like that. And Emily toasts to Maya.

AND BE STILL MY JEWISH HEART! Do you know what happens? They toast to Maya and NO ONE CLINKS their glasses. I don’t think that usually happens in America. Americans just toast and clink no matter what. BUT THEY DID NOT! AND I AM SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cut to Aria waking up, and looking around. She wakes up Hanna. Where are Spencer and Emily? (Spencer and Ali?)

Spence comes down the stairs. I’ve been looking all over for her. (I thought I heard a scream.)

Me: FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW! (And kinda hoping Spencer and Emily ran off to play 7 Minutes of Heaven in the barn.)

CUT TO: Emily with a shovel. Ali’s grave. Open casket. NO BODY! I did NOT see that coming. WTF! *dead*

Next scene is the girls there. Everyone’s flipping their shit. We gotta get outta here.

So Aria and Hanna take the shovel and bury it, but Hanna tries to wipe it down first. They drive back and see someone late at night. LUCAS! OMG! Baby, why you out so late? Picking up dinner for your boyfriend, Caleb? :D

Meanwhile, my lovebirds are at Casa Hastings where Spencer is ordering Em to undress. TAKE IT ALL OFF! That’s it. Pants, begone!

Unfortunately, instead of make out, Spence burns Emily’s outfit (which, btw, Emily looks GORGEOUS in).

Everyone is together. La Leader of the Liars says they’re going to her cabin, NOW. And she’s writing a note to her mother that makes it sound like they left in the afternoon, so they were there when shit hit the fan.

Guys, we got here in the afternoon-time. Had marshmallows. Pillow fight. And Emily and I made out for an hour. That’s the story, got it? – Spencer

Tots, Hanna agrees. (She and Spence probably made out, too. After testing out Hanna’s new vocabulary. You know how Spencer feels about big words!)

So, Veronica (HI!) calls Spencer to break the news. Spencer not a good actress, but, it’s not like her parents actually care.

Then we have Aria at Ezra’s place. Aria’s got nightmares. And then they talk about how their anniversary overlaps with Ali’s disappearance and how they want to recreate the grill and then they recreate the bathroom sex (but, apparently it wasn’t actual sex, just heavy petting). I is bored. *sighs* I hope Ezra gets a better plot and interaction with other girls (SPENCER!) like the other boys. :D


Spencer gets a call from ‘unknown’ and Hanna has a date with the shrink. Latz! Oh, and, before I step out, here is necklace. SEE! I NO STEAL! Good girl. I love the parallels!

Anyway, it’s been like half an hour since I’ve watch. My brain is going fuzzy. I can’t recall scenes anymore, so I’ll just group it all now.

Ms. Rivers goes to Radley High to see crazy!bitch who is catatonic. (Janel, I LOVE YOU!)

LOW AND BEHOLD! ACCENT! RETURN TO ME! *drool* Wren has scenes with Hanna. He volunteers there. HE SPEAKS IN ACCENTS. All I care about.

TOBY! OMG. NO MORE SHIRT FOREVER FOR YOU! :drool: WHY YOU SO HOT?! He’s out of his house. He’s working and living upstairs, with no running water. So he showers at Spencer’s. While Spencer wears his shirt (always!). It’s gorgeous! She doesn’t know why she still wants to wait. He eventually stops and puts clothes back on. Everyone weeps.

LATER! Emily is at some new coffee house and TA DA! TOBY! OMG! MORE ET FOREVER! BEST FRIENDS! He’s worried. And he hasn’t seen Jenna since she left, so probably since summer began. Wonder where she went. She confesses about her partying ways in Haiti.

SAH are at school, signing up for classes. Emily is outside. Lucas is not friendly with the Liars.

And Aria goes to bathroom and totally freaks the fuck out. Besties come to the rescue in the bathroom and Spencer gives her mouth-to-mouth to get her breathing properly.


La de da…they’re all called up to the cops. They stick to their stories. Mommies talk.

Blah blah blah. I don’t even know what order I’m in now. Anyway, Spencer is analyzing the Black Swan dress when Veronica comes in. She shuts her laptop and pretends to study for some subject she can do in her sleep. GIRLS NIGHT! Nah, got a final exam. Sorry. But they hadn’t hung out since Melissa…Don’t worry, Mom. She’s a Hastings. She’ll survive it.

THAT MEANS MELISSA MISCARRIED. Damn. Was really hoping we’d see baby come out with horns and a milk mustache. *sighs* I feel bad for Melissa.

Veronica leaves, as does Spencer. To El Creepy Motel.

And throughout the episode, Spencer has gotten a BILLION calls from ‘unknown.’ She finally answers and is next seen at jail. GARRETT! He didn’t kill Ali. He knows more. Things she probably doesn’t want to know. HAVE YOU EVER MET SPENCER HASTINGS. Nothing is too much information for her! But she doesn’t believe him, especially when he suggests he wants Veronica to be his lawyer and walks away. The guards are restraining Garrett. As he says he knows who took the body. Spencer CLEARLY wants to call him back, but doesn’t.

Elsewhere, Emily is running (WHY WE NO SEE Emily/Spencer running together!?!?!!?) and sees Jenna’s car from the finale. She gets a flash of that night a couple days ago. About to move closer and Jenna leaves. She freaks. (So, Jenna and Emily went to Kissing Rock while girls sleep? I approve!)

Dr. Wren calls Hanna while she’s with Caleb and he’s save by the call after saying the “I” word: Intimacy. *GASP* It’s “Spencer.” (By that, she means, Wren is calling to set up threesome with Spencer/Hanna/Wren. APPROVED!) He says that visiting Mona is a good thing. Come by? CALEB! Um..Yes, Spencer! And keeps saying Spencer into the phone and Wren is confused and amused. (Then calls Spencer to tell her Hanna’s in on threesome time.)

Hanna visits and asks Mona is she still wants Hanna to keep coming. Mona FINALLY turns to acknowledge Hanna’s presence, except, wait, what? She sees ALISON! In red. She’s looking right past Hanna. Hanna turns and there’s just a chair.

I mean, at least Ali/Sasha was in the ep? *sighs*

Wrapping this up….

So, while I’ve mentioned what girls did this summer, here’s the reality of it. I mean, all that happened, but not even close.

Spencer: Went to El Creepy Motel every day to recreate Room No. 2 from her insane brain.
Emily: Partied and got wasted in Haiti.
Hanna: Visited crazy!bitch Mona.
Aria: Major PTSD. And her parents broke up/divorced.


So, girls all reconvene at El Creepy Motel. And girls confess something to Emily. After that night, SAH returned, and EVERYTHING WAS GONE! They just didn’t want to worry Emily anymore. So Spencer’s been doing this through her INSANE BRAIN.

Then they hear Spencer’s car alarm and go outside to see all the doors open. Someone’s there. (WHY YOU LEAVE LAPTOP ALONE?!) What’s in the car? God, all I was thinking was..NOT THE BODY! No. Just a photo from the cemetery. FILLING UP THE ENTIRE CAR. One photo printed a billion times.


Mona liked to play with dolls. I like to play with body parts.



( 12 thoughts — gimme feedback )
Jun. 6th, 2012 02:52 am (UTC)

So happy to see our Core 4 back together again! Their friendship will never not be my favorite. Emily called them her Family!

I was seriously loving all the pilot parallels. All the girls hanging out before school starts, Hanna/Spencer shopping, Aria looking in the mirror and the last A message.

The Ezria scenes were seriously so adorable. I love how close they have become since they have met. Its nice to see them trying to work with Ella to make it less werid.
So sad that Aria seems to still be effected by the whole A thing. Also it looks like Ella and Byron broke up! We really need more info on this. Where was my bb Mike?!

The Hanna/Mona scenes were quite interesting. I like that Hanna is trying to help Mona but really? After everything she did to you and your friends? The Hanna/Wren scenes look interesting though. Hopefully we get more UC scenes this season! Who visited Mona?! Was it Alison or the ~Twin?!

Loving all the Spencer scenes! She is one smart cookie. Also did Melissa lose the baby?

Shays acting in this episode was FAWLESS! Her storyline is also the most complex! Who called her and took her away?!

The ET scene was so adorable! I love that when she need to talk to someone he was the one she called.

That ending was creepy, creppy, creppy, creppy! Who is on the A team?!

Jun. 6th, 2012 02:55 am (UTC)

That conversation made it seem like Melissa lost her baby.

Mike, who? I don't know who you speak of.:P

SHAY! Holy hell, she's amazing. And I LOVE this plot. Keep it up! She deserves it!

Jun. 6th, 2012 03:07 am (UTC)
I still think Im still blushing from that scene haha :P Keegan be my boyfriend?!

Poor Melissa :( Her belly seemed to be pretty big too!

Who is Mike? Is he on the show?

I seriously want to give Shay a standing ovation.

ET Be BFFs forever and ever please :D
Jun. 6th, 2012 03:12 am (UTC)
Exactly, she seemed like 6 months or something in the final. So 5 months? Means she miscarried. Poor Nanny!Carrie. Never can win. :D

Maybe he's hanging with the invisible Dads of the show?

I'm standing right there with you!

I hope we get more ET than the past two scenes. I mean, whenever we get it, it's priceless, but I hate gold every 10 eps.
Jun. 6th, 2012 03:17 am (UTC)
Torrey cannot get any luck with her recent roles! :P

All the invisibles like to hang out together haha.

Go Shay!

I really hope they continue the friendship too. So much chemistry!
Jun. 6th, 2012 01:45 pm (UTC)
Great episode last night!

I knew A would resurface before the episode was over. And, who could've dug up Alison's body? I can't even guess right now.

Aww, Emily and Toby. ♥ How cute were they? Hope to see more of their friendship this season. Well, that and more shirtless Toby. Unf.

I wonder where Jenna is. I dunno, maybe hanging out with all the invisible siblings and parents? :-) And what's up with Lucas? He was acting kinda strange, huh?

This season's gonna be good!

Jun. 10th, 2012 01:36 am (UTC)
Jackie, my love! Aren't you thrilled to see Bart A tormenting everyone all over again?! I know I was! My theories still live! AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!
Jun. 12th, 2012 03:32 pm (UTC)
LMAO. Least we know who owns the nuthouse...lol

We'll need a major talk/bosom hug when I finally watch the rest of GG. Last was still 5x15. Ugh. FML. *headdesk*
Jun. 14th, 2012 12:36 am (UTC)
Lol, my bosom has been empty for a while. This last season was such a mess. x_x

Hee, you know I cannot ever give up my Bart = A theory. Only this time, it's the Bart = leader of A team. :P
Jun. 12th, 2012 07:20 am (UTC)
OMG THIS --> "I DEMAND BRIAN KRAUSE GET CAST RIGHT THIS FUCKING SECOND! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! I need Holly and Brian together again!" Yes, please. Why do we love all the same shows?

So didn't pick up on Melissa losing her baby or that the car was Jenna's or that Wren was calling Hanna and Spencer for a three way. So glad I have you to point these very obvious things out to me. ;)
Jun. 12th, 2012 03:31 pm (UTC)
LMAO! Because we're awesome.... *high-five*

The Melissa thing seems to be missed a lot, I'm seeing. I don't know...I'm like kinda obsessed with her pregnancy. So, it's been 5 months. S1&2 are like 6 months...therefore there needs to be a baby, and baby not talked about. Spencer's word choice leads me to believe Melissa's a little out of it because something happened, therefore, miscarriage.

And, YES YES YES on SHW. It's totally on.

Then again, last season, Hanna went to Toby to try to help ST. So, in some way, SH+???? Is gonna happen. :D
Dec. 6th, 2012 11:54 am (UTC)
LMAO your reviews are amazing to read <3
( 12 thoughts — gimme feedback )

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